Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Internal Family Systems, or IFS, is a therapeutic model that addresses the multiple “parts” of our brains that make up your personality and experiences, commonly referred to as “subpersonalities.” We all have our own unique memories and perspectives that motivate us in making decisions or accomplishing goals. Many of us can have conflicting subpersonalities, such as inner critics and loving caretakers. It’s not uncommon for these conflicting personas to coexist at once.

IFS teaches that all these parts can still have positive impacts on your life, no matter how troubling they might seem. You may, for example, have a voice in your head that tells you there’s no way you can achieve a certain goal. A client who grows to understand this “voice” in therapy can benefit from discovering the true motives behind it, and ultimately learn how to triumph in spite of it.

Once you begin to understand how these negative subpersonalities can be used for good, you can stop giving power to them. Using IFS, you can relate to these different parts with a greater sensitivity and appreciation as you learn how to heal them.

When we become aware of a negative sub-part, the first thing many of us will do is analyze it to determine how it will serve us. If the sub-personality is a good one, then we can be free to embrace it; if it’s negative, then we either repress it or try to ignore it. But suppressing these negative parts doesn’t work very well. Pushing negative parts back into the subconscious of our brains means it will still continue to impact us, but without our awareness of what it’s doing.

The IFS process encourages you to embrace all these sub-parts, positive or negative, with a sense of compassion and curiosity. By seeking to appreciate and understand them, you can start to build trust with it in place of fear. This will release you from the burden of feeling trapped or afraid of it.

There are two primary parts of the IFS system: exiles and protectors. “Exiles” are the parts that may hold painful memories from childhood. “Protectors” are what you encounter first as you explore and get to know yourself. 

Depending on what you may have experienced in the past, these parts can feel extreme. The protector parts will work overtime to protect you from the exiles, attempting to spare you from further pain or trauma. The IFS system will help you work with the protector in order to heal from whatever past events may still trouble you today. 

IFS will help you to recognize your “true” self, a spiritual center of sorts. This self wants to connect with all your sub-parts in order to fully understand them, and feels compassion for the hurt that the exile parts are going through. This self also seeks to understand why the protector acts as it does, keeping calm throughout whatever intense emotions you may experience when exile memories come up. While everyone has a self, it can be difficult to access when there is too much activity happening among other sub-parts.

It’s the self that drives the healing process. An IFS therapist will coach you in how to use this self to relate and heal to your sub-parts, freeing you from troubling feelings and/or behaviors. You can choose a part to focus on, or work on several parts at a time, depending on what will best serve you.

To learn more about Internal Family Systems, or to schedule a consultation, you can reach me at 425-681-3866.